Este es un memorándum que pasó el departamento de recursos humanos de una
compañía en USA.
En el departamento hay 8 salvadoreños y en el costumer service 4 más, por
lo que entenderán que la forma de hablar dentro del departamento es muy popular
y a lo guanaco. Ya algunos de los norteamericanos que trabajan de supervisores,
han aprendido algo de nuestra lengüa y el Departamento de Recursos Humanos les
llamó la atención con este memorándum...... es real...
Merlin Industries
Trenton , NJ USA
Memorandum
To: Salvadoran Employees
From: Human Resources Department
Subject: New Policy using the Spanish language during working hours.
1) Words like ' p$$ta ', hijueputa ' and other such expressions will
not be used for emphasis, no matter how heated the discussion may get.
2) Non-important matters should not be addressed to as ' mi$$rda
'
3) You will not say ' la cagó ' when someone makes a mistake, or
'cagaron' if you see someone being reprimanded. All forms and
derivates of the Word 'cagar' are inappropriate in our environment.
4) Lack of determination will not be referred to as 'falta de huevos'
or 'culeradas', not will a person with lack of initiative be referred to
as 'maricon', 'culey' or comemierda'.
5) No manager or supervisor, under any circumstances, will not be referred to
as 'ese cara de verga, or 'ese maricon'
6) When a good proposal is presented, the term 'está paloma' must no
be used.
7) Unusual or creative brainstorming meeting will not be referred to as
'diarreas mentales'.
8 ) Do not say ' como jode' if a person is persistent, or ' se
jodió ' if somebody is going through a difficult situation. Furthermore, you must not say 'que Hijueputa ' or ' que dolor de verga 'when matter become
complicated in your line of work.
9) When asking someone to leave alone, you should not say ' vayase a la
mi$$rda', or will you substitude 'qué putas quiere?' for 'May I
help you?'.
10) When leaving the office, using the term ' me voy cabrones' is not
proper.
11) When any office equipment fails, it must be reported as ' it brokes
down', not ' se hizo mi$$rda' or ' se jodió esta mi$$rda '.
12) When something is specially difficult you don't have to refer to it as
'cuesta un huevo'; we understand when you say it is difficult.
13) Last but not least, after reading this memo, please do not say, 'me
voy a limpiar el culo con esto' or 'me lo paso por los huevos'. Just
keep it clean and file properly.
Thank you for your cooperation.
Human Resource Department.