SOME FUNNY JOKES FOR THE WEEKEND!!!!!!

[BRUJO]

The pastor entered his donkey in a race and it won.
The pastor was so pleased with the donkey that he entered it in the race
 again, and it won again.
The local paper read:

 PASTOR'S ASS OUT FRONT.

 The Bishop was so upset with this kind of publicity that he ordered the
 pastor not to enter the donkey in another race.
The next day, the local paper headline read:

 BISHOP SCRATCHES PASTOR'S ASS.

 This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the pastor to get rid of
the
 donkey.
The pastor decided to give it to a nun in a nearby convent.

 The local paper, hearing of the news, posted the following headline the
next
 day:

 NUN HAS BEST ASS IN TOWN.

 The bishop fainted.
He informed the nun that she would have to get rid of the donkey, so she
 sold it to a farmer for $10.

 The next day the paper read:

 NUN SELLS ASS FOR $10.

This was too much for the bishop, so he ordered the nun to buy back the
 donkey and lead it to the plains where it could run wild.
The next day the headlines read:

 NUN ANNOUNCES HER ASS IS WILD AND FREE.

The bishop was buried the next day.
The moral of the story is . . . being concerned about public opinion can
 bring you much grief and misery . . even shorten your life.

 So be yourself and enjoy life.

Stop worrying about everyone else's ass and
 you'll be a lot happier and live longer!


  :



Two Jewish men "Sid" and "Al" were sitting in a Mexican restaurant.
Sid asked Al, "Are there any people of our faith born and raised in
 Mexico ?"

Al replied, "I don't know, let's ask our waiter."  When the waiter came
by, Al asked him, "Are there any Mexican Jews?"  The waiter said, "I
don't know, Senor.  I'll ask the cooks."
He returned from the kitchen in a few minutes and said, "No sir, no
Mexican Jews."

Al wasn't really satisfied with that and asked, "Are you absolutely
sure?"

The waiter, realizing he was dealing with "Gringos," gave the expected
answer, "I will check again, Senor!" and went back into the kitchen.

While the waiter was away, Sid said, "I find it hard to believe that
there are no Jews in Mexico .  God said our people are scattered everywhere."

The waiter returned and said, "Senor, the head cook says, "No Mexican
Jews!"  Are you certain?" Al asked once again.  "I can't believe there are no
Mexican Jews!"

"Senor, I ask EVERYONE," replied the exasperated waiter. "We have
orange Jews, prune Jews, tomato Jews, and grape Jews, but no one ever
hear of Mexican Jews!!!"


  :

Summer Classes for Men at
THE
ADULT LEARNING CENTER

REGISTRATION MUST BE COMPLETED
by Monday, March 31,2008
NOTE: DUE TO THE COMPLEXITY AND DIFFICULTY LEVEL
OF THEIR CONTENTS, CLASS SIZES WILL BE LIMITED TO 8 PARTICIPANTS MAXIMUM

Class 1
How To Fill Up The Ice Cube Trays--Step by Step, with Slide Presentation.
Meets 4 weeks, Monday and Wednesday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 2
The Toilet Paper Roll--Does It Change Itself?
Round Table Discussion.
Meets 2 weeks, Saturday 12:00 for 2 hours.
Class 3
Is It Possible To Urinate Using The Technique Of Lifting The Seat and
Avoiding The Floor, Walls and Nearby Bathtub?--Group Practice.
Meets 4 weeks, Saturday 10:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 4
Fundamental Differences Between The Laundry Hamper and The
Floor--Pictures and Explanatory Graphics.
Meets Saturdays at 2:00 PM for 3 weeks.
Class 5
Dinner Dishes--Can They Levitate and Fly Into The Kitchen Sink?
Examples on Video.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning
at 7:00 PM
Class 6
Loss Of Identity--Losing The Remote To Your Significant Other.
Help Line Support and Support Groups.
Meets 4 Weeks, Friday and Sunday 7:00 PM
Class 7
Learning How To Find Things--Starting With Looking In The Right Places
And Not Turning The House Upside Down While Screaming.
Open Forum
Monday at 8:00 PM, 2 hours.
Class 8
Health Watch--Bringing Her Flowers Is Not Harmful To Your Health.
Graphics and Audio Tapes.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 9
Real Men Ask For Directions When Lost--Real Life Testimonials.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM Location to be determined
Class 10
Is It Genetically Impossible To Sit Quietly While She Parallel Parks?
Driving Simulations.
4 weeks, Saturday's noon, 2 hours.
Class 11
Learning to Live--Basic Differences Between Mother and Wife.
Online Classes and role-playing
Tuesdays at 7:00 PM, location to be determined
Class 12
How to be the Ideal Shopping Companion
Relaxation Exercises, Meditation and Breathing Techniques.
Meets 4 weeks, Tuesday and Thursday for 2 hours beginning at 7:00 PM.
Class 13
How to Fight Cerebral Atrophy--Remembering Birthdays, Anniversaries
and Other Important Dates and Calling When You're Going To Be Late.
Cerebral Shock Therapy Sessions and Full Lobotomies Offered.
Three nights; Monday, Wednesday, Friday at 7:00 PM for 2 hours.
Class 14
The Stove/Oven--What It Is and How It Is Used.
Live Demonstration.
Tuesdays at 6:00 PM, location to be determined.

Upon completion of any of the above courses,
diplomas will be issued to the survivors

FELIZ FIN DE SEMANA!!!

[Tio B]

jejeje algunos chistes solo son graciosos en su idioma original.

los homonimos son loquisimos 

[Vwarlock]

el ultimo es chiste para mujeres, no creo q muchos hombres nos cause gracia 

[BRUJO]

no seas tan "gender loving",mi estimado warlock....uno de los síntomas del buen humor es poder reirte de tus propios defectos.....!!

saludos,
brujo